Creating Weddings and Events that Celebrate Your Brightest, Shining Moments!

RSVP Etiquette for the Wedding Guest

Through our wedding coordination experiences, we have seen a pattern of behavior that we felt compelled to address for the sake and sanity of our wedding couples. Many wedding guests have become very neglectful when it comes to weddings and RSVP etiquette. Yes, the etiquette ideals surrounding wedding events have become less rigid but the necessity of the RSVP never changes and it’s time to understand the importance of the proper “Répondez, s’il vous plaît or Please Respond.”

Dearest Wedding Guest,

If you are special enough to be invited to the wedding of a family member or dear friend, please have the decency to respond to the invitation. Your indecision about your schedule should not cause undue stress and strain on your friends or family, that have invited you to their wedding. The couple has enough planning to do already and having to chase you down for a response is just ludicrous and rude. You may not think it is important but believe me, as the wedding planner, I can tell you, it is very important to them.

The couple has to finalize a number with their caterer about the number of guests expected. The couple is adamant about making sure that all of their wedding guests are fed and fed well, which means your attendance costs them money. Obviously, they are okay with this expense and they thought enough of you to include you in the celebration.

Many engaged couples are going for a particular style and flow for their wedding reception that calls for table assignments and seating arrangements. They are prepared to make a special place for you at a table where they believe you will be most comfortable. They can’t do that if you don’t respond to the wedding invitation.

  • If you say you will attend, then do so. If something comes up that requires a change in plans, let the couple know as soon as you can. It allows them to make the necessary changes.
  • If you didn’t respond to the invitation, then don’t show up at the wedding reception expecting to have a seat or a meal prepared for you. And by all means, don’t throw a temper tantrum expecting the couple to find you a seat or pay extra for you to have a meal, because you know you didn’t respond in the first place.
  • If the invitation says adult only or your children’s names are not on the invitation, your children are not invited.
  • If your roommate, boyfriend, house guest, or guest is not listed on the invitation, they are not invited.

Thank you for considering your friends and family when receiving invitations to their special event. They will appreciate that you are well versed in RSVP etiquette and hope that you will share your knowledge with others.


Your loved one’s Wedding Planner!

  1. I think this is a great article! Friends and family seldom understand. Some mistakenly believe that RSVP means to send a response only if you are attending, while it really means the couple just wants a response.

  2. Great Information!This a major frustration for my clients, trying to get the guest to cooperate and act accordingly.

  3. Wonderful article. Would save so many problems if guests would take heed of this advice.